I am still sinking…I can see land now, Still alive but barely breathing.
I am sick in bed watching Sex and The City 2, probably not the best to watch right now! There is a part in the movie when Carrie and Big have a conversation about Big wanting to “take a break” once a week. Carrie was taken back, her feelings were hurt. Throughout the pain in her eyes she agreed to it, because she loves Big so much. Do I ask the Lord for “time off?” Does he have pain in his eyes, but still lets me go because he loves me so much? I don’t technically ask him for “time off” but I do not really knowing what I am doing. I am really trying to walk alone. It becomes scary and lonely. I went to a baby shower last weekend for my friend and one of my great friends asked me how I am. How I am REALLY! I cried and did the usual, life sucks but I am trying. She asked her famous question, “How is it working for you?” I laughed as the table laughed and my answer is always NO. Why do we keep running? Why do we think that we can do it alone? Obviously, it isn’t working for me. Why do I think it will work out? When I start to run I notice alarms going off. My alarms come as fast as me sliding down a fast water slide. First thing that happens is I am so tired, then my financial situation gets worse, then I am at the bottom of the slide in no time. When I hit the bottom it’s not like my old bottom is not as worse but the more I try to slide down the slide alone the bottom gets worse. I am taking my friends advice to take one day one step with HIM at a time! What do you do when you start sliding down the slide? What alarms happen for you?
I want the life jacket NOW!!!! I cry out for the float down the slide.
